Transcript of the speech delivered by Daanish Ansari on the radio program Focusislam.com, AM770, which takes place every Sunday between 3:00-4:00 pm.

Allah (SWT) orders us in the Holy Quran:

O you who believe! Fear Allâh as He should be feared. And die not except in a state of Islâm with complete submission to Allâh.

Verily, All praises are due to Allah, I offer praise to my Sustainer, with such gratitude that is worthy only of His Supreme Being and magnificent sovereignty.

Whomever Allah has guided none can misguide. And whomever Allah has misguided none can guide.

I bear witness that there is no God except Allah, He is alone, one and only, and has no partner and that He is the master of the Day of Judgment. I bear witness that the Prophet Muhammed, is his last and final messenger.

All praises are due to Allah who has sent the Prophet Muhammed as a mercy, guidance, teacher, and the best example for mankind to follow. Verily, anyone who turns away from the guidance of the Prophet Muhammed has indeed gone far away from the straight path. Anyone who tries to select guidance other than that of the Prophet Muhammed has indeed gone astray. Anyone who tries to add, whether his intention is sincere or not, has indeed gone astray.

As our beloved Prophet has instructed us in a hadeeth, "Whoever does something which does not belong to our affair will have it rejected."

The best of speech is the speech of Allah, and the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammed, and the worst of matters are those that are invented and every invention is an innovation and every innovation is a misguidance which will lead to the hell fire.

As we are warned by our beloved and most honored Prophet: “Beware of new things (in matters of faith) for every new thing (in faith) is innovation, every innovation is darkness, and darkness leads to the Hell fire.”

O Muslims! fear Allah! fear Allah as He ought to be feared. Hold fast to the strong rope of Islam. O slaves of Allah! Without doubt, Allah greatest blessing upon man, is His true Deen. Through which, Allah brings life to the dead hearts, bestows the light of Imaan to those who are astray and spiritually blind.

As Allah (SWT) tells us in Surah Nur, Ayah 52:

And whosoever obeys Allâh and His Messenger (SAW), fears Allâh, and keeps his duty (to Him), such are the successful ones.  

Verily it is only through our adherence to the Quran and the Sunnah that will ensure we are on correct guidance.  

As we are reminded by our beloved Prophet in a hadeeth: “I have left among you something; if you hold them firmly, you will never go astray. They are the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger.”

By the will of Allah, I would like to continue on our topic of family values, dealing mainly with the issue of marriage. Verily, it is Allah who is the granter of success, and verily upon him we fully rely.

I would like to extrapolate upon the criteria to look for when searching for a husband or wife. What qualities should we look for when searching for a spouse?

We must remember that marriage is not a duty that we can simply neglect. As we are told in a hadeeth, that our beloved Prophet praised Allah and extolled Him and said, “Yet I pray and sleep; I fast and break my fast; and I marry women. He who is displeased with my sunna is not my follower.

Due to the ignorance that is mainly prevailing today, most people when searching for a spouse search for someone who is fashionable, someone who is attractive to everyone, someone who freely mixes, talks, and literally flirts with anyone.

We must realize, do we want an individual who is only a decoration piece? Or do we want someone to help us, and be a committed partner in our lives, for as long as we live.

One who can be on our side and give us backup at the time of calamities, when we experience financial difficulties, sickness, or any other losses. If one does not have the fear of Allah, that individual instead of being a help to us will be burden upon us.

Due to the fact that we have turned our faces from our religion, and have become neglectful of our duties towards Allah, our marriages today, have become a wrestling ring. The woman wants to represent her whole family, regardless what the husband goes through. She cares about her mother, father, brother, and sister; however she does not want to care about her husband.

Husband, on the other hand, wants to also show all his love to his family members, however does not care about looking after his wife.

  Someone, who is lost, who has two or three girl or boyfriends, someone who does not have the fear of Allah and the love of Allah and His Messenger deeply embedded in to their hearts, will never fulfill their responsibilities towards us.

Let us realize that if we look at this today the way most people deal with this issue. This individual who completely has no fear of Allah embedded inside him, who does not have foundations of the deen laid inside him. Who freely mixes with girls, who has many girl friends, and so on. If an individual with such poor and dishonorable character were to propose to you, what will be your reaction?

Let us deeply contemplate upon this, and realize, what guarantee do we have about this individual, who is not sincere to his lord, that this individual will be sincere to us?

Let us seriously ask ourselves, how can trust that this individual will ever be sincere to us? How can we put our trust in to this individual? This individual was never sincere to his lord or his messenger. This individual said the shadah, and was a muslim by name, however never acted upon Islam’s requirements. This individual is living his life in a manner, that he thinks that he can fool his Lord, and that he can disobey Allah’s Messenger. How can this individual, who does not guard his religion or morals, guard our wealth, trust, secrets, and honor?

Families today are destroyed, because they treat their religion as a last priority. Therefore Allah’s blessings are removed from that family, and the parents always are unable to understand each other, and they end up arguing which eventually leads towards divorce. Let us not only look towards worldly matters, because this individual may be shinning for us today, however in the future will be a burden upon us.  

As Allah (SWT) says in the Holy Quran, Surah Baqarah, Chatper 2, Ayah 86:

Those are they who have bought the life of this world at the price of the Hereafter. Their torment shall not be lightened nor shall they be helped.

This individual will never respect nor honor us, because the roots of this boy or girl were not that of the deen. Therefore, if there is no fear of Allah present, then this individual will do anything to us. After working so hard for years, one will change their face in such a way, that it would seem to be a punishment upon us. There will be no use for us to live, or do anything in this life. We will feel more emotionally unstable then we did when we were single, and we did not have a partner. We will wish that we never did this mistake to marry, even though we ourselves dreamed and worked our whole lives towards it.

Oh you who believe, let us realize that the most essential criteria required when searching for a spouse, is to search for someone who is on the deen of Islam. Who fears Allah, who adheres to Allah and His Prophet.

To marry the individual who is far away from the path of Islam, and is worldly, might look beneficial to us today, however the benefit is only a smokescreen.

As Allah (SWT) tells us about those who disbelieve in Surah Nur, Ayah 39:

As for those who disbelieve, their deeds are like a mirage in a desert. The thirsty one thinks it to be water, until he comes up to it, he finds it to be nothing, but he finds Allâh with him, Who will pay him his due (Hell). And Allâh is Swift in taking account.

Let us deeply contemplate upon the hadeeth of our beloved Prophet, who is the best guideline to follow when searching for the correct criteria in selecting a husband or wife. Our beloved Prophet, Allah’s Messenger said in a hadeeth: “A women may be married for four qualities, for her property, her rank, her beauty and her religion; so get the religious one and prosper.”

Religion will lay our solid foundations of our marriage, and once we have solid foundations laid, we will prosper. This will be the individual who will be sincere to us, and will make us prosperous in this life and in the next.

Oh you who believe, have fear of Allah, and never forget another hadeeth of our beloved Prophet, who said in a hadeeth: “A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.”

O you who believe, let us fear Allah. Let us implement the love of Allah and His Messenger, not only by words, but deeply in to our hearts and strictly in to our actions.

As our beloved Prophet has told us in a hadeeth: “Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has completed his faith”

Let us realize that we must love our spouse strictly for the sake of Allah, in order for us to complete our faith, our iman. To love for the sake of Allah, is something which is deeply essential in order for us to lay solid foundations for our marriage. Verily, when a husband and wife live and love each other for the sake of Allah, their marriage will be a highly successful one, because they will realize their essential duties to one another, and ensure that they treat each other honorably, kindly, and with justice.

Verily, Allah (SWT) will shower his blessings upon those who love for the sake of Allah. To prove that we love our spouse for the sake of Allah, we must adhere to the laws Allah has ordained upon us. We must follow the Quran and the Sunnah, these two guidances which will grant us success in this life, and will grant us success in the hereafter.

As Allah (SWT) says in the Holy Quran:

O you who believe! Keep your duty to Allâh and fear Him, and speak the truth. He will direct you to do righteous good deeds and will forgive you your sins. And whosoever obeys Allâh and His Messenger he has indeed achieved a great achievement

Therefore, let us abide and do righteous deeds, in order for our marriage to be a a successful marriage. Let us keep our duty to Allah, let us fear Allah and always speak the truth. When we attain these two qualities, we will be directed towards the straight path. When we achieve the adherence of Allah and His Messenger, we will achieve a great achievement, we will attain permanent success. Our souls will receive the peace and calm that we deserve. Our marriage, will be a great achievement, because we have adhered to Allah and His Messenger.

What is required when we say to love for the sake of Allah, means to love all that which is loved by Allah and His Messenger. To strictly adhere and deeply love all that which Allah (SWT) and our beloved Prophet love.

Let us not be fooled by our cultures, let us not be fooled by our parents, friends, spouse, or anyone who tries to remove us from the path of Allah and His Messenger. Anyone who tries to make us marry an individual who is not on the religion of Allah.

Let us deeply contemplate upon the hadeeth of our Beloved Prophet, who said: “There is no obedience to the creatures, if it means disobeying the Creator”

So let us be those who love for the sake of Allah, and let us be abstain and literally hate all that which Allah and His Messenger hate, in order for us to prove our submission on to Allah. In order for our marriage to be a successful one, in order for our marriage to always be constantly blessed by Allah (SWT).

When we are searching for a spouse, let us realize that a spouse is not a partner who is a partner for two or three days. A spouse is not a person which we can leave easily. Successful marriage is a lifelong process, that requires high motivation from both the husband and the wife, from both the mother and father, in order for us to live successfully in this life and in the next life.

As Allah (SWT) order us in the Holy Quran, Surah Baqarah, Chatper 2, Verse 208:

O you who believe! Enter perfectly in Islâm (by obeying all the rules and regulations of the Islâmic religion) and follow not the footsteps of Shaitân (Satan). Verily! He is to you a plain enemy.

This is an individual who will be a main role model for your children. This individual will be the main person who will shape not only your life, or the life of your children, however this individual will shape your entire generation, which eventually will be generations.

We must remember that one who does not have foundations and roots from his religion, from the Quran and the Sunnah, will appear to be shinning today. However after the marriage, that same shining individual, who we left our deen for, will be a traitor and a disgrace to us.

This same individual, who we have dreamed our entire lives for, will be the greatest and the biggest disgrace to us.

If our marriage or our lives, will be in disobedience to the laws of Allah, the Quran, and to the noble way of our beloved Prophet, then let us realize that we will only not be disgraced in this life, however we will be disgraced in the hereafter.

As Allah (SWT) says in the Holy Quran, Surah Nisa, Ayah 14:

And whosoever disobeys Allâh and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW), and transgresses His limits, He will cast him into the Fire, to abide therein; and he shall have a disgraceful torment.

So let us realize, how essential is it for us to find one who is on true guidance. Let us find a spouse who deeply loves Allah and His Messenger. One who does not only pay lip service to his religion, however applies it in all walks of life, in order for us to receive the peace and satisfaction we deserve.